The Bobby Rock Newsletter #110 (1-26-24) - Year One of the Unexpected New Life
The Bobby Rock Newsletter #110 (1-26-24) - Year One of the Unexpected New Life
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Hey Everyone -
Thanks once again for joining me. As always, I continue to try and run the gamut with all that we cover around here.... from the personal to the professional to the philosophical, and everything in between. Today, we will get a little personal. Let's jump right in! In This Issue:
+++++++ Next Stop: See you in LA... Louisiana, that is!  2-3-24 - Kindler, LA - Coushatta Casino Resort (with Warrant) _______________ Year One of the Unexpected New Life My boy turned a year-old this week. On the one hand, it feels surreal that it's been a whole year since he popped into this plane. On the other hand, life as a first-time dad has never been so dense as this last year. It honestly feels like two. And yet... the joy! The pure love you feel is remarkable. I've heard about this my whole life... how, regardless of whether or not you are a "kid" person (I am not), when you have your own, it's different, they say. You will feel an insane amount of love for this little being. This, it turns out, is true. As a result, I have experienced a radical expansion in my life that, frankly, I'm still sorting through. It's as though I've stepped into a double-life: a parallel existence as both the guy I've always been, but also the guy I now am as a father, experiencing the world through the fresh, curious eyes of my son. And with this expansion, you make decisions in an entirely different way. You might even uproot your life and move somewhere previously unimaginable if it's in the best interest of your youngster. And certainly, you will say, do, and tolerate things you never thought possible. Early on, I was changing my kid's diaper and he pissed on my leg. I was unfazed and carried on. About two hours later, the piss had long dried, but it finally hit me: I was still wearing the same pants! Had this been someone else's little mongrel, I would've freaked and had to change my pants immediately. But my little mongrel? No problem. My boy's body fluids (and other excretions) do not bother me... including those associated with the infamous "poopy diapers," which most everyone else would find disgusting. Must be another slice of that Darwin thing: that inherent frame of unrelenting, unconditional love with which we view our children, thus ensuring their survival! It's wild. And to think I almost missed out on all of this.  Kari and I decided early on to keep our son's name and likeness private (until further notice), but here's one of our first family pics from when he was roughly one week old. The New Parents As for parenting our kid, I would say, so far, so good: Kari and I have done pretty well, I think. By all accounts, he's a well-adjusted young lad with an agreeable demeanor. He smiles a lot. He rarely cries. He seems unaffected by crowds, loud environments, and new adventures. He can hang in various social situations without issue. He's healthy. He's a good sleeper. He's fairly autonomous and overtly curious about things in his environment. I don't know if these attributes are inherently part of his nature, or to what extent he will retain them, but so far, we are grateful! And I think all of our various protocols for him—such as minimal exposure to electronics (screens, TVs, etc.); maximum exposure to books, "mind-sharpening" toys, and great music; predictable morning/evening routines, healthy food, and consistent nap-times; and regular outings and overnights with his incredible grandparents—are helping. He's probably spent less than five collective minutes in front of a TV screen in his first year, but he already has dozens of books in his section of the family library. We will aspire to sustain this trend, as best we can. He also listens to lots of different music—jazz, classical, rock, soul, funk—especially in the mornings. (Coltrane, Liszt, and James Brown are among the most played.) We like to think this is magically assisting with optimal brain development on some level. But we also play the obligatory "kid" music in the afternoons (which I find almost intolerable, but who cares what I think?) and lullabies with his evening bottle, just before bedtime. Plus, it should be said that Kari is an extraordinarily present and nurturing momma: a true natural, as they say. And you should hear her spontaneously roll out the crazy-cool character voices during reading or playtime. Holy shit! This kid is gonna grow up thinking that all moms can whip up these world-class "cartoon" voices, on the spot and in the moment. (Believe me, it is a rare and remarkable skill to do this at her level.) Naturally, our boy seems to really engage with these voices. And given the loving family he was born into—and the eclectic and exceptional circle of friends that his parents have been blessed to have—this is a lucky kid, to be sure. But with that good fortune comes a lot of responsibility, we feel. So we will continue, above all else, to keep our young man grounded in empathy and gratitude, as best we can. +++++++ It's About Time... Virtually every parent Kari and I have talked to has told us, "Enjoy every moment. It all goes by so fast. Next thing you know, he'll be getting his driver's license!" Privately, we laugh about this... at least so far. These have been some of the longest days (and nights) of our lives—period! And I don't mean that in a bad way. It's just that time, and our relationship to it, is very different now. The “time/space continuum” of being a hands-on parent is a mirage in that, the days often plod along at a caterpillar’s pace: yet, inexplicably, there seldom seems to be enough time to get all the everyday grind stuff done, like work, daily routines, etc. I knew going into this adventure I would prioritize being a dad, so I have no real issue about anything that has fallen through the cracks this past year. As for the foundational things I do most every day? Yes: I must continue to keep them rolling, as I have. But I've yet to find any predictable rhythm with it all. Sometimes, after a full day of being a father, evening rolls in and I will engage the norm: lift some weights, go for a run, hit the drums, take a shower, do some writing... then limp off to bed at 3:00 or 4:00 AM... only to awaken an hour or two later at 5:00 when "the big man" wakes up. (I usually try to take the first shift.) It can be pretty fucking brutal. And then I have to try and grab a little nap-time at some point. This, by the way, is not the norm, as we often have some help around here during the day. But some kind of all-nighter is usually necessary once or twice a week, just to try and get caught back up again. I have a feeling this will be an ongoing theme. +++++++ And with that, I will bring this to a close for fear of lulling you all to sleep. Now, finally, I understand why parents always carry on about their boring offspring and the unremarkable trials and tribulations associated with their rearing. Now... I get it. Hell, I have even taken an interest in other folk's children in public and regularly engage with them about kids and parenting. Before this, Please, I would silently plead as someone was pulling out their phone to show me a picture of their ugly-ass kid. Please... one or two pics max. A cat or dog pic? No problem. Keep 'em coming. But a kid pic or vid? Please. But now, I'm afraid I've plunged those very depths myself, and I wonder when my friends' patience will expire (if it hasn't already) and I will have to keep the pics "in-house only" for immediate family. Of course, the exception here is that our kid is legit gorgeous—for real! Motherfucker should be on a Pamper's box. But that's another story... Thanks for reading, BR _______________ The World's Greatest Dad: 10 Years Gone Speaking of fatherhood... Four days before my kid's birthday is the anniversary of my dad's passing. This year was the big 10-year mark since the old man made his transition. Poignant timing, to say the least. This thing is, I never really saw my father's impact on me as directly aspirational, in terms of being a dad myself. Sure, he had many traits that I always hoped to integrate as a human. But because fatherhood was never in the cards for me, I never viewed the kind of dad he was as something relevant to my journey... until this year. In fact, I remember talking to my good friend, Neil Zaza, earlier in 2023, mentioning that I wasn't sure how properly equipped I was to be a father. He knew my dad from back in the day, so he simply told me: "Listen, you had a phenomenal father. So if you ever wonder what you should do in a given situation with your son, just imagine what your dad would've done and do that." Boom! Simple enough. With that in mind, I thought I would share the link to my original tribute post to my dad from 2014. I realize many of my longtime readers have probably already read it, but for any of my Newsletter folks who haven't, you might enjoy the read. My dad was quite an unforgettable character...  Here's a short excerpt: What can a son say about the passing of his father, especially when they happened to be best of friends? He was there when I took my first breath in this world, and I was holding his hand when he took his last. How can you possibly encapsulate a lifetime of love, respect, and joy into a blog or Facebook post? I’m sure you really can’t, but nonetheless, here are a few reflections… My dad was one of the wisest and coolest people I have ever known. And I say this, not just in the reflective aftermath of his passing, but rather, as a reoccurring thought I’ve had throughout my life. I know I hit the lotto having Jerry Brock as my father.  I learned a lot of stuff from my dad through the years, most of it from observing how he actually was in the world. One of his most compelling attributes was how he personified non-judgment toward others in every facet of his life. My dad did not care about someone’s religious beliefs, political leanings, ethnicity, personal lifestyle choices, physical appearance, sordid history, or anything else. He was truly “colorblind” in both social and business situations. As such, he was never one to gossip, indulge in water cooler chatter, or carry on about someone behind their back, even among those closest to him. He respected everyone equally, and people clearly picked up on this, which was one reason why he was such a beloved character to friends, family and co-workers. In fact, it would not be an exaggeration to say that my dad lived his entire life without enemies. Scope the full blog (with lots of pics) here: _______________ A Picture's Worth... The road brings about lots of memories and various reunions. Here's a recent one I talked about on social... +++++++  From last night in Fort Myers… always great to run into my bro, the infamous Stet Howland, out on the road: A bad-ass and legendary drummer, no doubt! Little known fact: Back in 1983, Carmine Appice spearheaded a National drum battle, featuring the winners from drum battles in 14 different cities. I happened to win it in Houston and Stet won it in Connecticut (Hartford, I believe), so we first met on the “battlefield” of Griffith Park in LA for the finals. Sonny Emory (rightfully) won it, but Stet and I both agree that the crushing disappointment of “losing” wound up driving us both deeper into the woodshed for many more hundreds of hours of practice! And now, 40+ years later, we are both still out in the trenches, battering drums for a living. Love ya, brother. See ya next time… +++++++ Ain't this the truth? it seems that the best of things often come out of the worst of times. And believe me, flying out of LA with nothing to show for my efforts (or the perceived expectation from all who knew me) was a super low point. Of course, we are all adored in the "ecosystem" of our own high school, or hometown, or local club circuit. But when you venture off into a larger ecosystem and get your ass kicked, it either forces you to retreat back to the comfort of your original ecosystem.... or work yourself back up to the next one. I would like to think I've always kept fighting for the latter. Anyway, it's always nice to connect with Stet in my travels. I think we are each a good reminder to the other about why we gotta keep moving vertically! _______________ To sign up for this Newsletter and/or to scope back issues, click HERE. _______________ Thanks again, everybody. Connect soon!
Until then, BR
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