The Bobby Rock Newsletter #105 (8-15-23) - Goal Setting: Yea or Nay?
The Bobby Rock Newsletter #105 (8-15-23) - Goal Setting: Yea or Nay?
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Hey Gang -
I'm getting this edition started on a long layover here at the Delta Lounge in the Minneapolis airport, enjoying the last couple days of a super-dense Lita Ford run. Man... it's been a lot of fun with little sleep! But that's how we typically roll, dealing with lots of 3:00 AM lobby calls, 2-flight travel days and, in some cases, extra long van rides. But hey... we're out here playing music for a living at a time when touring can no longer be taken for granted. Still love the life, let me tell you (although I do miss my kid in ways that I could not have imagined). Let's jump right in...
From my "home office" at the MSP Delta Lounge
In This Issue:
- Goal setting: It's a time-honored practice in the self-help world, but should we bother with getting that specific about our future? Or, should we "roll with the flow of the Universe," so to speak, and let things unfold organically? Let us ponder...
- Killer Quote: One of my faves on the perils of falling short with your goals...
- On the Road with Lita Ford: A few highlights from some recent shows...
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Goal Setting: Yea or Nay?
Setting goals has been a bedrock practice in the self-help/personal development world for decades now. From Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, to the staggering majority of self-improvement books, courses, and workshops ever since, you would be hard-pressed to find a personal improvement philosophy that doesn't involve some form of "future casting:" declaring and defining precisely what you want to do, be, have, and experience, and on what approximate time-frame. Jim Rohn, Tony Robbins, Brian Tracy—plus too many others to mention here—have all presented various approaches to the sweet science of setting and achieving goals, all with similar themes.
Personally, I've always found it compelling, this idea that we can step into an inspired, contemplative space, open our minds to all that's possible in this field of endless potentiality (that we call life on earth), and weave together a wishlist of desired outcomes. I have amassed quite the collection of these types of lists through the years, scattered about through various hard-bound and digital journals... with mixed results, in terms of actually manifesting the particulars. But I've also gone through many "be in the moment, roll with the moment" phases where, frankly, I didn't pay much mind to the future. It was a purpose-before-outcome approach, and that has had its advantages, as well. And it is between these two radically different approaches that I have continued to vacillate.
More recently, I have arrived at a place in life (fatherhood!) that was never on any goals list for me… ever! And yet, the experience thus far has been more magnificent than I could’ve imagined. As a result, I have felt, yet again, that there might be a futility in goal setting, thinking... What do I really know about what’s best for me? Maybe I should just “roll with the flow” and let things unfold organically. Life has a way of doing what life is going to do, right? Maybe I don't need to bother with setting all of these goals.
So this has been a recurring internal debate I've had here lately in the wake of fatherhood, and therein lies the impetus behind this whole post.
To Set Goals or No?
So... what's my final yea or nay about goal setting?
I say, it is all about intention. Living your life with intention gets you out of bed early and back to bed late. It defines and focuses. It is the fire and drive behind so much of what we do every day. Therefore, anything we can do to stoke the flames of intention—to clarify and crystallize it—is a good thing. And this is why I say Yea to goal setting.
Ultimately, it isn't about whether or not you achieve all the goals you set. It is about the way you live your life, and the person you have to become, in diligent pursuit of those goals.
This is where personal evolution takes place... in the getting up every day and becoming this more elevated version of yourself as you pursue, in earnest, the various goals that light you up. Maybe you'll reach some, maybe you'll fall short on others. Either way, it is in this active pursuit of those noteworthy goals that life really happens... even those unexpected game-changing events that shift the trajectory of everything.
Such was the case with my latest development. I was pursuing my most recently revised goals list. As a result of being on that path, circumstances were such that I met my partner, even though my goals list had me as a single guy for the next five decades (no kidding). From there, over the next several years, things unfolded in a magical way, and now we are parents. This is shocking... at least from the perspective of the ol' goals list. And yet, it was that initial list... which gave my life the kind of proactive intention that led to this other series of life happenings... that facilitated this unexpected, yet highly-fortuitous occasion that has changed both of our lives for the better. (And I'm sure my girl would have a similar story to tell about how her pursuits led her to this moment.)
But Does Goal Setting Actually Work?
We live in a world of cause and effect. "Cause" involves our actions. When we take steady, measured actions toward our goals, it's foreseeable that we will experience different effects... which, in this case, could mean the attainment or achievement of our various goals. But even if the exact goals are not achieved, there can be other surprising outcomes, positive experiences, or important life lessons learned along the way. So, while goal setting might not always "work" in terms of reliably manifesting every goal as you ideally envision them, I say it works in getting you further down the path than had you not set goals.
By listing your various goals and, perhaps most importantly, reviewing them regularly, a few things happen:
1. Priority and Focus: Once you've declared what you want to do, be, and have, it focuses your time and energy in a way that supports the attainment of those goals. If, for instance, one of your 6-month goals is to run a marathon, that goal will inform how you train, what you eat and drink every day, and how much attention you give to your recovery. If you have a certain income goal, that will inform what opportunities you pursue (or not), and what other activities you might engage in to bring more value to the world and earn more dough as a result. In short, the pursuit of your goals will force you in a direction of doing things differently (or even doing different things), while simultaneously pruning away those thoughts and behaviors that don't support your new goals.
2. The Magic of the RAS: There is a part of your brain known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS). One of its jobs is to always be on the lookout for whatever you have expressed real intention in either acquiring, developing, pursuing, or learning more about. Example: You decide you want to buy a Honda Civic. So you go online and do your due diligence in looking at a ton of pics, listings, features, color options, etc. Then, in the days ahead, you begin to see Honda Civics everywhere: passing you on the freeway, in a neighbor's driveway, parked in the grocery store lot, in various ads, etc. It seems that, suddenly, Civics abound in high quantities! But the point is, they were always there. You just didn't notice them—until you inadvertently instructed your RAS that you were in the market for one.
And so it can be with goal setting. As you immerse your consciousness in the attainment of certain outcomes, your RAS will remain on high-alert, "magically" seeking connections, clues, and other helpful tips for your consideration. We just have to remember to notice and, when appropriate, follow those leads.
3. The Energy of the Quest: When you declare goals that get you amped up, you are essentially engineering a compelling future... which breeds hope. And hope is something we cannot take for granted. As I've talked about around here before, to simply regard your future in a hopeful way brings an uncommon energy to your days. You wake up with a tangible reason and purpose, and this creates a quantifiable vitality in your daily activities. There is an energy in the creation process, and this can go a long way in what you do and how you do it every day, as this affects the most important thing in actually achieving any goal: taking action. After all, we can't just sit around visualizing what we want to happen (even though visualization can be a valuable tool in the process). We need to get our asses off the couch and into action mode regularly.
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Let's Do It!
A few things to think about:
- I recommend having a single journal of some sort where you can archive your goals and plot out your action plans. Let it be a safe space to record all of your prospective goals.
- Make your goals compelling, and maybe even a little out of reach. Review the list regularly, without judgment (as in, "How in the hell could this ever happen? You're dreaming, fool!").
- Personal choice here, but... I don't recommend sharing your goals with too many folks. Even with the best of intentions, many will offer up opinions and reactions, based on their own biases, filters, and experiences, and this is not always a good thing for those of us on a certain quest!
- Amend as needed. You will achieve some goals and think of new ones along the way. Write those down. Others might fall to the wayside if they lose their mojo. This is ok, too.
- Obviously, take regular actions, no matter how small, to get closer to reaching your goals.
- Pay attention to what pops up along the way that might be different than what you were shooting for, but could be equally cool or even better than you imagined.
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As mentioned, there are a million different books and methodologies on the subject out there, but this YouTube vid is a decent enough overview/jump-starter. It talks about a well-known concept of goal setting called S.M.A.R.T. goals, which details a solid criteria for selection. I personally find this animated format (and narration style) a bit unnerving, but Steve Scott (the guy behind the channel) is a pretty bright guy, so the content is decent. Scope it...
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All of which leads us to...
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Killer Quote
“We are kept from our goals, not by obstacles, but by a clear path to a lesser goal.”
- Robert Brault
This quote has always resonated with me. It speaks to this idea that we humans are more apt to choose the path of most clarity, where a modest outcome awaits, rather than the path of a far superior outcome, where we're not sure how the road to get there will look.
Truly, it takes a bit of grit and courage to pursue the more unknown, "Hero's Journey" path, which is why, I suppose, so fewer take it.
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On the Road with Lita Ford
If you combine this modern age of technology with a breakneck tour schedule, you quickly figure out that you can accumulate more sharable media than you could ever hope to post publicly. And yet... I try. So here's a quick sampling of pics, vids, and updates from our last five shows. Enjoy...
A bit of the drum solo at the historic Newton Theatre in Jersey. Love those smaller rooms...
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Here's a soundcheck shot from the Cabot Theatre near Boston. Another cool, old room...
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We always do a little "unplugged" warm-up before every show, and at Sturgis this year, Fred Durst from Limp Bizkit (who were headlining) happened to drop by just before we did this Elton John classic. (I don't think this vid ever got posted anywhere, FYI...)
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Sturgis remains one of my favorite festivals to play, anywhere in the world. These folks know how to rock! Here’s drummer’s perspective just as I stepped onstage at sunset. What a view!
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Here's some footage our bassist, Marten Andersson, snagged during the drum solo. You'll notice the ultra-loud revving of the motors at one point near the end of this clip. This is the Sturgis crowd's way of "voicing" their approval!
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Once we hit Oshkosh, WI, a run was in order. Here are two short vids from that 6-miler around the river:
Pt. 1
Pt. 2
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Backstage... we love those massive salads!
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After grabbing a shot of the audience during the solo, I went ahead and did a little selfie-solo footage, holding the phone with my left hand, while soloing with my right. It seemed like the thing to do at the time! :-)
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One of the highlights of playing the Arcada Theatre in St. Charles, IL is digging into the incredible food created and served by Kristen Recchia Arcada Hospitality. Daaamn! We had all been dreaming about her insanely tasty vegan meatballs from last time, and were hoping to try them again this time. Boom! Kristen delivered… and better than ever! Here’s a shot from our post-soundcheck meal. Thanks, as always, Kristen!
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A "group" shot backstage at the Arcada Theatre, featuring Jack Russell in front of me and Chip Z'Nuff to my right.
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Fun and games with a little muscle memory “test” during the solo in Arcada. Always a great time there…
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Thanks again, everybody. Connect soon!
Until then,
BR
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